You know.. i couldn't for the life of me understand why you kept on wanting
to break up with me all those times.. well i do now..
its like a revalation to me.. i mean.. they are right.. never to judge a man.
till you walked a mile in his shoes.. or your shoes for that matter..

just let me say..
Wow.. you were one hell of a women..
i finally feel what i put you through some time ago..
and for you to have put up with me for so long..
nothing short of amazing..

now the shoe IS on the other foot..
i do so much for you and i'm sure.. i've asked NOThing of you..
maybe a little openmindedness.. but nothng more..
and what am i to you..? i make you happy..
you call.. cuz you miss me.. and it helps to hear my voice..
but since we started afresh.. i've done everything for you..
to please you.. not to make you mad.. to suprise you..
and i'm so drained.. cuz its all been about you.. for both of us..
selflessness on my part isn't appreciated more than a hug and kiss..
and a "i'm so glad you came".. you are right..
i am angry that i'm doing all the work..


which other boyfriend wakes up at 8 to give you wake up calls..?

or gives you stuff toys.. several pairs of earings.. for no reason..

print out your notes time after time..

supirses you after work just to make you smile..

which other boyfriend will honestly say.. if you are against sex.. i'll give it up just for you..
cuz thats ONE hell of a sacrifice i tell ya that..

will put up with bad days.. time and time again to make you smile..

will agree to do anything you ask to improve the relationship..

reminds and helps you to do your work time after time..

at least tries to make an effort to get you home on time..

will agree with you so you won't be mad at his opinions..

will comfort you everytime you feel insecure or worry that we won't work out..

honestly..
a lesser man would crumble..


it took so much guts for you to stand up and say this isn't working for me..
that maybe we should end this..
and for the first real time in this relationship.. i asked myself that..
its not working out for me.. i bend and yield to your every request..
go above and beyond the call so you will smile..

and on your part.. with your friends.. its okay.. never good.. or great..
i never hear you blog good things about me.. a thank you.. you are proud of me..
i work so hard.. for an OKAY..

and ask nothing in return..
i heard something today.. if you are in a marrige..
you better expect disagreements.. cuz they ARE going to happen..
unless you marry and identical twin.. who thinks and acts the way you DO..
if you expect everything to be this beautiful picture where everything is picture perfect..
you are f*** dreaming.. not saying being traditional is wrong..
but wake up and smell the coffee.. telling your kids NO to sex..
studies have proven it DOESN'T work..!
and you won't believe me.. even say that the psycologist interviewed is no expert..
she has had 10 years experience.. and has 2 kids of her own..
i presume you would know better..?!

really girl.. do you hear yourself sometimes..?
you just won't listen to anyone else but your model of life..

i'm wanna love you so much.. and you say you won't want me
to think like you or agree with you for the sake of doing it..
but you won't have it any other way..

i really don't know what to do..
but i can't stop loving you..

life is not a spectator sport..
Win lose or draw.. life's a game..
and weather you like it.. or not..
its on ALL the time..

I wonder why i try so hard..
i keep trying to make everytime special..
but it always ends in unhappiness..
not mine per sae..

She has to win.. she IS win..
she wants me to share but i can't..
when i do share she won't listen..
i'm so confused..

its clear that things are win lose or draw..
but hold the phone.. just a sec..
here's what i think.. maybe its not that at all..
life.. is a game.. and its how you play the game..
tha really matters..
= )